A Prayer For The Broken

A Prayer for the Broken

Chains of forgotten sorrows cut me in vain
Like a knife I twist with the tides
Roll in , roll in let the winds carry me safely through
Dry my tears and let me live through out my years
Help me to see it through
Give me life
Give me peace
Let my joy be filled
Let laughter ring in my ears
But only as a sound of friendly cheer
Instead of my enemies jeers.
Sing to me songs of hope and promise
Take away the tides of doom and gloom
Dry up the way side and the salty sea of tears
That's been shed by the shores of broken glass
Let the scars and cuts exist no more except for rememberance of lessons learned
Let my heart me mended and at last, let lonliness be no more.
By : Bernice Bowling

The Stranger I met On The Way To Jail

I was on my way to London to visit a man Whom I was writing to, who was in jail. I didn't know this man, but he was in there with my cousin and he had know one to write him. He was alone and pitiful just like me. So I felt sorry for him. Now I must tell you that at this time in my life I had just gotten over a nervous break down, and I was very lonely and in desperate need of some love and companion ship, and conversation with someone whom I felt wouldn't judge me. Anyway, He sent me a picture and there it started. Of Course later on I found out that he was suspected of cutting the heads off of at least 2 women here where I lived. His first name was Rick. I want say no more,  for that's another story. This is the story of how I met the devil and fell in love immediately.

Anyway, getting back to the story , I was on my way  to the London Jail to visit a man when I realized I needed to stop off for gas now I hadn't been driving very long, (I hadn't gotten my drivers licence until much later in life) so I didn't really know how to put gas in the car since I had always had someone to do it for me. I stopped off at the Marathon gas station in Manchester to get gas and I nervously pulled up to the gas station and began to try to fill up. I had no idea what I was doing and needed help, I looked around for someone to help me and I didn't see anyone. I then thought about going in there to ask the attendant how in the heck do I turn this thing on? Then I thought there is know way I am going in there and tell them There is someone in the world who doesn't know how to work a stupid gas pump ! No I would sneak and ask someone near. Surely someone will come along. That's when I saw him standing there all by himself looking aloof. So I called to him and motioned for him to come over to where I was standing. When he came over I tried to laugh off my embarassment as I explained to him that I had no idea what I was doing and to please help me and so he did. Then he asked me to give him a ride. All of a sudden I remembered all of the hitchiker horror stories I had herd and watched on TV, and had been warned about, but I felt obligated. After all he did help me with my gas tank, and I knew I would feel very guilty if I didn't say yes, so I did. Well I explained to him That I could only take him so far because I was going to see a friend in the London jail. He said that's fine. Long story short I didn't make it to the London jail cause I ended up taking this person every where in the world imaginable !!!!!

I had never in my life been on such a roller coaster ride of going from one place to the next. I had just about had it !!!!! I was mad and P  "Oed".  Well, he saw fast that I was getting agrivated and by now it was getting late so he began to change his way. He became nice, sweet , very charming, and soon I had forgotten all about  the driving I had done earlier on . Well long story short he asked me out and I should have said no but I didn't.  I will continue the rest of the story later. It doesn't end like you think it's going to.

My Heart Spoken

Knives, Swords of steal,
Plunging into my chest,
Leaving me breathless,
I cry for my heart.

Blood dripping, curls and screams,
Can't stop the pain.
It's unreal,
What was done to me.
I cry daily,
Wanting revenge.

They must suffer and pay,
Lier, deceiver,
Back door cheater.
Whose going to turn on me next?
A friend, another boo ?
I don't think so !

I am cutting myself off
From the world you see.
No other man will get a chance
To hurt me, not even a friend,
Or someone who calls them self a friend.
Really it's just an enemy in the end.

By: Bernice Bowling

Just Another Menstral Pain Complaint

Heaven help me it's that time again.
Advils been taken
Heating pads awaken
I'm sick and need to throw up

Knives in my belly multiplied
pain stricken and going to cry
screaming pains
no man can imagine

Oh Lord take this thing from me
or let me die
sheak and shriek
crys that scream I am going to die

How to handle this
just one more time
When will this finally be over
Let me sleep
I can't breathe

It's too much for me to bare
Remember child birth
breathe in breathe out
breathe in breathe out
Soak in hot water
see if that will help

Chills down my body
Im dying
so it feels
Lord what do other women Feel ?
IS this pain as real for them?
Why me?
Why so bad for me?

I need more Advil
Once a month I become an addict for anything
that will take this pain away
men don't feel .
If it was up to me they would.

Bible scriptures for menstal pain
do they exist?
Wish I could find one.
The bible has everything else

Take out what hurts
That's what I would tell the surgeon if he or she we were here.
Take it out quick and leave me be.
Heaven help me
Set me free
Dear Lord, Take this pain away
I can't stand to hurt no more
in Jesus name I pray take it away
Please help me to pray to take this pain away in Jesus name
Amen and Amen

It's got to go away
I can't hurt another second
I gotta go,
Good bye cruel world
Good bye pain
Thank you Lord
Help me Jesus
I need you now and always

A Mom's Memorial

My mom never liked Christmas after she lost her daughter Wanda and her mother. She never wanted to put up a tree , but she did it anyway for me. She loved me, and now she is gone and I am left feeling sad and alone without her. I am still making the best of things for my son just like she did for me. I'm making sure he always has a good Christmas every year. The tree is trimmed.  There's gifts under the tree, and most of all he knows that Jesus died for our sins and he knows how he suffered on a tree made into a cross. I make sure my son knows how Jesus's blood was shed on Calvary so we wouldn't be lost. I tell him how Jesus went through unimaginable pain, humiliation, and even back stabbing betrayal from a trusted friend. He was beat and chastised , mocked and abused, stripped of his cloths and made fun of. People chastising Him all so that we might escape the depths of  hell, and He rose again on that 3rd day victorious.

I tell the Christmas story every year to make sure My son doesn't forget why we celebrate Christmas. My mommy taught me about Jesus and she taught me well. Forever I will be thankful for my raising, and a mother who loved me enough not to want me to go to a devils hell. This Thanks giving I am thankful for Jesus who was and is the son of God, my mother who raised me, and my son. I am also thankful for my daddy and my papaw , but that's another entry for a later day.

There are so many things my mother did for me but teaching me about Jesus, was by far the greatest thing she could ever do, and none of these other things could ever match up to that.

Forgivenss

THE DANCE
Pains of sacrafice
mistakes being made
words being said
never meaning to hurt but just to help heal
my broken heart.
Only time has forgotten what
once was spoken
dancing on the wings of regret
I'm sorry for the words that were spoken
Never meaning to hurt only to help me to heal
didn't think anyone paid attention, but maybe they do
For that I am sorry, and I hope you are too.
Forever lets part in peace and forgiveness
straight from the heart.
Let god love rest upon you
forever in his arms wrapped in forgiveness and In love.
I forgive you and I hope you forgive me to.

By : Bernice Bowling