Pains of Motherhood and God.

 With inner screams and tear-filled eyes, she chipped away at her heart. Pieces of it falling a little at a time. Chopping and cutting until there was nothing left. Looking down at the ground she saw a cold and grey rock just laying there alone and cool to the touch. Jagged but smooth, she picked it up and placed it where her heart used to be. It was a fit. Not a nice fit, not a good fit but a fit. Would time ever heal what had been spoken? What can heal the trauma of the past that other people had caused? There was nothing left to live for. Limp and frail her heart melted away slowly as a snail creeps. She had no one, no one to talk to. no one to be there for her when she was down. She was alone. Death was not an option, because she believed in God. Motherhood was both a blessing and a curse. The pain a child can cause is more than any one person could bear. Feeling lifeless and not able to stand she walked shakily into her bedroom and laid down and slept. She wished it could have been for eternity. 

Dreaming, soft music playing in the distance, a dancer danced. It was her. She watched herself as she twirled and leaped, bowed and swayed, like a branch from a tree. She cried beneath the willow tree watching herself.  The grass was green but the dance floor was grey and so was she, grey as if watching on a black and white tv. The grey turned to soft pink as the dancer bent low and raised her hands above her head and twirled once more.  Alone and grey beautiful was the sorrow of the dance. She needed a break. She needed to dance. Running, the wind catching her lifting her up as she sailed away like a bird in the sky. Up and up and up she went and then back down again swooping, and landing softly back on the ground, nothing was forever, not even this dream, and she woke up to the same bed, the same life, the same painful circumstances. Her child hated God. 

Somber and weak she picked up her Bible and began to pray for guidance. As she read God began to show her things she needed to know. God will be a father to the fatherless. God will place the solitary in families. God will save the people of your children. God is a healer to the sick. God is a way maker. A mountain shaker, a mountain mover.  God is a God of the impossible. He will make a way. Your child will be saved. Past traumas will be healed that were caused by others.  God will give you the desires of your heart because you delight yourself in Him.