Santie Was A Hoe

Santie was a hoe, you see
He always dug in the dirt
Never seeing what's good
Always chose the side of the wrong
Drunk and in the shed
That's where he belonged
Santie was a hoe, you see

Never wanted to do nothing but work in the garden

Always covered in dirt

Refused to take a shower

unless it rained.

Santie was a hoe, you see

but the only person he ever loved
was a farmer named Jill

Even the roses hated him

He was always stepping on their buds

not watching where he was going

drunk on miracle-gro and manure

Sante was a hoe, you see

no good for nothing but digging in the dirt

His mother was a shovel

he never knew his father

rumor has it his father was a rake

from the farm next door

His brother was rumored to have run off

with a pick

Santie fell down a well last week

broke his handle

now all he does is hammer and moan

Farmer Jill made a move last week to order him

a new handle

It's just not come in the mail yet

Santie is a hoe, you see

but he's mad now because the hammer Jill ordered

came in only pink