Pains of Motherhood and God.

 With inner screams and tear-filled eyes, she chipped away at her heart. Pieces of it falling a little at a time. Chopping and cutting until there was nothing left. Looking down at the ground she saw a cold and grey rock just laying there alone and cool to the touch. Jagged but smooth, she picked it up and placed it where her heart used to be. It was a fit. Not a nice fit, not a good fit but a fit. Would time ever heal what had been spoken? What can heal the trauma of the past that other people had caused? There was nothing left to live for. Limp and frail her heart melted away slowly as a snail creeps. She had no one, no one to talk to. no one to be there for her when she was down. She was alone. Death was not an option, because she believed in God. Motherhood was both a blessing and a curse. The pain a child can cause is more than any one person could bear. Feeling lifeless and not able to stand she walked shakily into her bedroom and laid down and slept. She wished it could have been for eternity. 

Dreaming, soft music playing in the distance, a dancer danced. It was her. She watched herself as she twirled and leaped, bowed and swayed, like a branch from a tree. She cried beneath the willow tree watching herself.  The grass was green but the dance floor was grey and so was she, grey as if watching on a black and white tv. The grey turned to soft pink as the dancer bent low and raised her hands above her head and twirled once more.  Alone and grey beautiful was the sorrow of the dance. She needed a break. She needed to dance. Running, the wind catching her lifting her up as she sailed away like a bird in the sky. Up and up and up she went and then back down again swooping, and landing softly back on the ground, nothing was forever, not even this dream, and she woke up to the same bed, the same life, the same painful circumstances. Her child hated God. 

Somber and weak she picked up her Bible and began to pray for guidance. As she read God began to show her things she needed to know. God will be a father to the fatherless. God will place the solitary in families. God will save the people of your children. God is a healer to the sick. God is a way maker. A mountain shaker, a mountain mover.  God is a God of the impossible. He will make a way. Your child will be saved. Past traumas will be healed that were caused by others.  God will give you the desires of your heart because you delight yourself in Him. 

Array

 Dark grey halls ; scattered skeletons

shadows that gleam across the room

distant cries of endless nights

dancing upon the moon

souls in agony

resting uncomfortably

lying to suit the mood

ring in ears

forgotten cheers

downing us in gloom

Sheepless forts

descending west

time drifts away

To some sweet lagoon

Peering glasses

seeing nothing

despising loads

raising rifts in derision

cackling coughs

bounties lossed 

ceasing my own existence. 

by: Bernice Bowling 

My dream about the crime I didn't commit.

 I had a horribly disturbing dream. I dreamed I was dating this scruffy looking person, and we had been arguing and all of a sudden this person started being really nice for no reason and we were going into a store and I wanted to stay home and couldn't figure out why I had to go in all of a sudden, and I was packing his coat in my arms, and we had my parents with me but they didn't look like my parents but in the dream they were. Anyway when we walked through the doors of that place an alarm went off and the security guards looked in the pockets of the coat I was wearing, and it was his drivers license that set the alarm off but they still blamed me for it. it was his coat and his drivers license that set the alarm off but they still blamed me for it. I was being accused of a crime I didn't commit, and in the dream this had happened once before and God vindicated me, and I remember calmly looking at him and saying you planned this, and I said you will get paid back for this God won't let you away with it because I am going to pray for vindication and I dreamed I left the store but I knew once I got back home and came back that I would be arrested. All because of some scum bag I choose to trust. This dream felt like one of those warning dreams. 

Scattered Memories and The Invisible Girl

 Part 3

No one ever really noticed me in school unless I made myself noticed, and I did that quite a bit much to my own embarrassment later in life. Having a time machine would be great for these sorts of things, but we're not here to talk about those moments just yet. Where here to discuss why I feel I was so invisible.

The first sign I had any special talents came when I was in Kindergarten. We were coloring the coloring pages that had been handed to us. On my page was a little girl with a beautiful little dress on with hair to her shoulders. This little girl to me desperately needed red hair. I can remember thinking why do people call red hair red when it's clearly orange? I looked down at the crayons on my side of the desk comparing the two crayons in question. Yep, red hair was really orange. At least the red hair I had seen anyway. I had noticed previously in the school year that when other kids would color their character's hair red they would all use the red crayon which to me ruined the coloring page altogether. So I picked up my orange crayon and I boldly stood alone seated in my chair coloring my own little girl's hair orange. She looked just like people with red hair usually did that I had seen.

Now that I look back on those years I realize that should have been the first sign that I would be a future artist, but yet how was I supposed to know? I was only a kid, and for years and years after that, I would grieve over my friend John Davids's ability to draw. I would sit at the desk beside him and watch him draw his figures and yearn, and wish that I could draw such things only to find out in high school when I took an art class that I actually could draw.

Another thing that I remember from my childhood that pointed towards me being an artist later in life was my great desire to draw my own comic book strips like the Peanuts Gang. I would spend hours drawing simple shapes, nothing fancy but simple shapes with cute fun names that I would come up with that I wanted to turn into my very own cartoon version of the peanuts gang. I never was able to do that but I remember it well and I still have that desire to this day.

I was always a creative child making my own doll clothes and my own paper dolls, and often drifting off into my own fantasy world with made-up stories floating around in my head. It was better than tv. I could never keep my mind focused on anything redeemed boring to me for more than 5 minutes. Which I guess is why I brought home bad grades in math and biology, and why I got ignored when the academic teams were picked. No one wanted an average child on an academic team. It wasn't until college that I learned I could write short stories and poetry. I even won a few contests and came in second place in the state in the KHEA writers contest. I know if I had kept on entering besides those 2 times I would have eventually won first place, but I didn't. Maybe someday huh?

One thing I have learned in life is that if you really want to do something you will. Below is a picture I drew of myself. It's never too late in life even if you do feel like the invisible girl or guy to discover something about yourself that you never knew you could do.

All through life and growing up I felt like the one struggling to make friends. The one struggling to fit in. The outcast, the forgotten. The invisible one. The shadow is always there but no one notices. Life is hard and the only one who can change the way you see things or react to things is you. I still struggle with all these things but I've learned not to let other people get me down. I've learned to love myself and fall back out of love with myself after a bad relationship, and then pick back up the pieces again after that and start over. No matter what happens in life I will never let them see me sweat, and I will always find some way to survive with God's help of course. I could never do all I've done without God, and some things I've done without God and it was a disaster but we will talk about that at a later date.

The Odd Doll

 One of my favorite teachers I ever had was Wilma Roberts, my kindergarten teacher. She was always so kind and seemed to love us kids. She never made any difference between us, and always tried to be fair. I had brought one of my Barbies to school, against my mother's wishes. I had sneaked her in my backpack. She didn't look like my other Barbie's though. She looked like another doll maybe a Tuesday Taylor doll but I am still to this day not sure what she was because I had her farther back than I can remember, which was true for most of my dolls. Anyway, I brought her to school one day to play with at recess. Anyway, this doll was special. I had never seen one like her before and none of the kids had any that were like her either. I had always had this doll. I don't remember when I first got her because as far back as I can remember I had always had her, which is the case for most of my dolls. (Why is this so painful for me to write about? Anyway, it is. I need to explore that later.) This blonde-haired little girl wanted to see her and so I allowed her to. She kept her all day, much longer than what was favorable to me so I got tired of it and asked for her back and she then said no she's mine, not yours. I was in shock. The little girl was lying. That's when I told the teacher and the teacher then asked the class who's doll it was and I just knew the class would say hers because I wasn't very popular. I was the invisible outcast no one cared to like or get to know. At least that's how I felt, but to my surprise, almost the entire class said it was mine. They actually told the truth. I was shocked. I didn't know how they knew it was mine because Tee, that's what we will call the little girl in this story, had asked to borrow her much earlier in the day so not many people would have known that, but apparently they did, and I got my doll back, and I was happy because she wasn't just a doll to me she was a gift of love from my mother who was raising me. All my dolls were special to me, well most, lol. I didn't like the scary green Wizzard of Oz witch doll that my mom bought me, lol. That thing scared the pee out of me. Below is a picture of the doll I was talking about in this story. Oh, by the way, I am just writing my memories for my child in case he wants to read about his mother one day. I hold no hard feelings towards anyone.

The First Day of Kindergarten

  The First Day of Kindergarten

Looking back I remember in the very, early years of childhood being filled with love and feeling such confidence. The family was always close. I felt so important like I was the center of the universe, and love wrapped around me like a warm blanket on a cozy winter day. It was a perfect world, and my mother was the author of it. She was my world. Wherever she was at I felt safe. My mother was perfect, I was perfect and my world was perfect.

That all changed on my first day of Kindergarten. I had never been to school before. I had no idea I would have to even go to such a foreign place. I felt as if I was being sent off to war in a scrap yard where wild animals and vicious tigers roamed. I was so scared. The very foundation I was standing on had been shaken and shaken hard. There were loud voices coming in every direction and chaos abounded. I was suddenly aware of my weight, my hair, my clothes, and my very insignificance, and of course my lack of ability to make friends. My world was now inside my head and it was just the beginning.

Strangers seemed to peer at me, inspecting me as if I were a bug. I clung to a family that had brought me here and I prayed they would never leave. buzzing chatter noisily continued for what seemed to be a lifetime. Then one by one parents and grown-ups slowly begin to leave. I was alone now, and with these Martians with children's faces, that and the teachers of course. I stood there looking onward assessing my doom. Then somewhere in the room, a cry was heard, a loud shattering cry. It was another child screaming with big huge elephant-sized tears running down their face. That's when I felt their pain. It was like my own, and before I knew it I was crying too.

The day went by and soon it was time to go home. Daddy had come to pick me up. I don't remember much about what happened after that day but I do remember mommy asking me how my day went and what all happened and I told her I cried and she asked me why did I cry and I said because the other kids were crying and so I cried too. Then we both looked at one another and we started laughing. I realized that I had not needed to cry and that I had only cried because I had felt the other kids' emotions. Sure I was scared and didn't want to be there but I was not a child who cried. I was my daddies child, and I was tough. That's when I got the devastating news that I was not done with school. I had to go back to that awful place for many days to come. I remember being so angry because of that, but the next day when I went back. I remembered my mother and me laughing over yesterday's events and I never cried that day or any other day over having to go to school. I just went after all mommy had told me if I didn't they would put them in jail and I never wanted that. So I sucked it up and went.

5 Random words is all you need to distract your mind from things that distress you.

 For those of you who have a lot of pain, I came up with something that can help you cope and get your mind off of it for a little while. What you do is you think of 5 random words. Try to make them as random as you can. My five words were Tree, pain, coffee, book, and dragon, and then you use those 5 words and make up a very short story with them. The villain in the story can be your pain and so forth. Anyway, I thought this might help someone who's having issues. It helped me.

Tree

Pain

coffee

book

dragon

It doesn't have to be some great masterpiece. This is just you trying to turn your attention off your pain and channel it into something else.

Now before you do this you will want to pray and talk to God about what's bothering you no matter if it is pain or some other issue. Talk to God first then give the problem to Him and Praise Him for the answer and then in the meantime distract yourself with this fun exercise. 

So now I will share with you the fun little insane story I wrote using the 5 words that I choose at random. I just choose my words by looking around me.  I love trees, and I was in pain and I was drinking Iced Coffee and I had books around me and I thought of pain again and came up with the word Dragon. That's how I choose mine. Now you can choose yours ever how you see fit as long as it's random. 

So here is my little fun story. I hope you enjoy it and maybe even get a few laughs at some of the ridiculous things it has in it. 

The woods were dark, gloomy almost forbidding enough so to intimidate one to turn back, but this mission was too important Amy thought. I must go on. The trees were swaying back and forth to the wind howling and whispering to one another with each rustle of the leaves. It was as if they were whispering secrets that only they knew. Blinding pain exploded with each step she took. She had barely escaped with her life. The pain had never stopped. Still, she kept on moving toward the deep end of the forest. She had to find the book. She had to save herself and her family from the sudden death at the hands of the monster who called himself The Coffee Maker. 

The Coffee Maker was notorious for making really bad coffee. He was once a master at it but it all went away like overnight. Still, The Coffee Maker was the one people went to for loans and such, and each trip he made them drink a cup of his nightmarish coffee. He had a way of making you feel obligated to drink it and drink as much as he wanted you to. The Coffee Maker was also known for his cruelty and violence. Making people stand on their tiptoes chained to a wall drinking his horrible tasting coffee and if they spit it out he would torture them by sticking long doll-making needles inside their ears and piercing their eardrums pouring boiling hot coffee on the inside yelling about now how does it taste. The screams if only they could be heard inside those soundproof walls would have been legendary. He would do this to anyone who owed him money or insulted his coffee. 

The book was the only way to defeat The Coffee Maker and put an end to his cruelty. The law could do nothing. Their hands were tied. People were afraid to come forth and tell what they knew. The Coffee Maker had that kind of power of them. They were afraid. That book. I got to find that book Amy told herself. as her ears screamed in pain where she had been tortured. The book was the source of all the coffee makers' power. You get the book and you get the coffee maker. At least that's what his ex-wife The Dragon said. She used to be married to him and left because his cruelty became too much for her to bear and the violence had only begun then.  

After she left that's when she got her nickname the dragon. People thought she escaped fire the way only a dragon could. She also made handmade dragons for a living so there was that. She was an expert doll artist and was well known for her artistry and sewing. She had sewn and made countless dolls and dragons and sold them all over the world. She would travel from place to place taking classes and perfecting her art. That's when his husband Frank who later became The Coffee Maker came into contact with the book. 

Locals warned him not to touch that book. It was cursed. Whoever was in possession of it would benefit greatly from its ability to help teach him how to make a good cup of coffee, but it was a power that was just too much for some, too much for most. Soon he became obsessed with making coffee and with each cup he made it was better than the last. He soon became world-famous for his coffee, but the coffee got to a place it was no longer enough for him. It didn't satisfy his thirst. He became greedy for money and power and the more money and power the coffee brought in for him the more greedy he became. Soon his love for coffee was no more and all that was left was a cruel violent monster. His coffee no longer tasted like clouds of Heaven, Now it tastes like rotten and rank. No one wanted to drink it. He began to lose it. Scrambling to get back what he once had and failing.  He became cruel and abusive to all those around him and committing crimes and acts of violence out on anyone who didn't like his coffee and said so to his face. He was a monster. 

That's when his wife left and took the book with her hiding it in the trunk of a large tree in the woods. She knew if anyone found her or the book it would be all over. So she went into hiding. Only a few people knew how to contact her, and Amy was one of them. Alice was The coffee maker's wife's name and She told Amy where the book was hidden years ago in hopes one day she would be brave enough to travel to destroy it before the coffee maker found them again and finished what he started years ago. 

Amy's family had been down on their luck and was about to lose their house when they heard of a man who would give them money for just drinking his coffee. They thought wow this is too good to be true, but hey we're desperate so we will try anything. I mean what could it hurt right? Coffee-stained teeth are all. Little did they know. The coffee would be so unbearably bad that they would spit it out right in front of the coffee maker. That's when the coffee maker pulled out a gun and made them go to the back room. The soundproof room. Amy had gotten the coffee maker to trust her to go to the bathroom where she escaped out a tiny window that no normal human could possibly fit into but Amy had been starving since her captivity and had no problems going through the window.  Her family was still there though and they were suffering. 

It was morning now that Amy had reached the top of the mountain where the large oak tree stood. It was the oldest tree in the forest and right there in the middle was a hollow place where the book was to be laying. As Amy approached the tree she began to feel afraid. What's this book going to do? What does it have in it? As she reached inside to get the book bugs to begin to scurry across the top and over the pages. Yuk, she dropped it. She hated bugs, and right before her eyes, she saw what the book contained. It had ever evil dead the coffee maker had ever done in his quest for fame and revenge. Everything was recorded in this book. Even the things that were being done to her and her family but how since the book was all the way out here? Anyway who was she to question it. All she knew is that someone was keeping track and someone knew more than they were willing to let be known. She tucked the book into her jacket making sure it was bug-free and ran fast down the tall mountain leading out of the woods. Once in town, she called the police and told them everything. They took the book and the coffee maker was arrested. 

Last I heard he had actually turned over a new leaf and was sorry for all his cruelty and how he had let greed and the love of money turn him into something inhuman.  He wrote letters to all his victims from prison apologizing. Idk if any of them forgave him or not but I was just glad that our part in the story was over and that everyone was safe now.  Oops did I say I well I guess you now know who it was that was still writing things in the book before Amy took it? YIKES, I was going to keep that one to myself oh well the cats out of the bag but I guess there's no reason to be afraid now that old Frank is behind bars. 

okay guys that's my crazy insane story. Stupid I know but hey like I said this is just for fun and it doesn't have to be a masterpiece. It just has to be fun and something that will take your mind off your troubles if only for a little while. I had an ear infection during this story as you can probably tell which is why I wrote about ears and needles LOL Anyway thanks for giving this a read and I hope you decide to write a story of your own using 5 random words. 

My prayer strategy worksheet.

1. Understanding the enemy

A good general studies his opponent, he knows what his opponent
is about, and how his opponent operates, but you don’t need to study
anything satan has written. You don’t study a deceiver by reading what a
deceiver has written! The Word of God has given us everything we
need to know to understand our enemy and how he operates.

Just a word of caution here, don’t allow this step to become your
focus. Read what the word says about our enemy and move on,
because getting stuck here can be counter-productive!

Jesus Christ should be our focus, not Satan.

1 Peter 5:8

 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring

lion, Walketh about seeking whome he may devour:

1 John 4:1-3 King James Version (KJV)

4 Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they
are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the
world. You try the spirits by seeing if what they’re saying goes
against the word of God in any way. 

2 Hereby know ye the Spirit of God: Every spirit that confesseth that
Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is of God:

3 And every spirit that confesseth not that Jesus Christ is come in the
flesh is not of God: and this is that spirit of antichrist, whereof ye
have heard that it should come and already now is in the world.

John 8:44 King James Version (KJV)

44 Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will
do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth,
because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh

of his own: For he is a liar, and the father of it

Satan's War tactics are

He tries to deceive. He is a liar and the father of lies He slanders and uses Gossip.
He uses this to discourage, distract and depress God's people so they will be
hindered in their walk with God. That’s why it’s so important to live a life that
leaves no room for reproach. So that no one will be able to say a harmful word
about you and even if they do people will know it’s a lie and won’t believe it. 

He is persistent. The enemy tries to wear us down with his tactics and
temptations. He will harass you until you give in. He tried to do it with
Jesus on the mount but Jesus kept telling him no and when Satan would
try and twist Scripture Jesus would quote it right back to him. Satan is a n
aggar. He will nag and nag and nag but you have to stand strong on God's
word and not give in. Sampson gave in and look at what happened to him.
We must stand on God's word and not compromise when Satan attacks. We
must stand and not give in. 

He tries to discourage by mocking you, He attacks you trying to take away
your health, Your joy. Making you depressed. He attacks you through your
finances. 

He Uses fear tactics. He tries to make you doubt yourself so you won’t do what
God is telling you to do. He makes you insecure by lying to you about your body
and doubting your abilities. Making you insecure and filled with fear. Fear
immobilizes. These lies can come from family, friends, strangers, anyone,
churches, the media. That’s why it’s so important to know God’s word and to be
able to hear his voice and Listen to him in prayer. And worship. We have to be
able to discern and discernment comes from knowing God's word. You have to
constantly be using scripture to defeat Satan when he comes at you. Praying
and knowing human nature also helps get discernement. 

He uses offences 

He tries to attack your life and ministry again by using lies and gossip, and
temptations, and other various means

He lies to you about your identity, making you doubt yourself  worth, and God.
Believe what God says about you, not what the enemy is saying. Believe God’s
word, not the devils. Who is God, what can God do? What does God say
about you in His word?

He lies to you about your future. He lies to you about everything. 

You have to read and study God's word every day and not just read it but
apply it, quote it, get it in your heart and use it constantly throughout your day
when Satan comes at you with his lies and attacks. This is how you get
discernment, Also again praying and understanding human nature.  

John 10:10 King James Version (KJV)10 The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and

to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might

have it more abundantly.1 Peter 5:8 King James Version (KJV)

He attacks you through the people you love, your family and your friends,
strangers, Tv, the internet, music to get you to sin and not trust God.

Knowing human nature. 

What is in man? Jesus knew man’s nature. The heart of man is deceitful and
wicked. The Bible says no man is good, not one. Romans 3:10.  Man is prone to
run after people they think to be big sensations, popular, the big name. They
were not truly committed to Jesus. The Bible compares man to be like sheep
because they are constantly gone astray. We can study our own lives, and hearts
and see that. People will turn on you so quickly like a light switch going off and
on. People are human. We all are and so we’re prone to make mistakes. We’re
prone to wickedness. You can study the scripture and see how Jesus and his
disciples were treated and see that. The pharisees were jealous of Jesus. They
didn’t want him to take their place in the synagogue. They were afraid of losing
their big seat in the church. People run after big sensations instead of what’s
Gods. Friends, family and yes even the church will fail us because they’re human.
Man has a sin nature and Satan is a tempter. If you remember that you won’t be
so hurt when it happens to you and you will be better prepared, and you will be
able to forgive more. 

Getting discernment from Prayer. 

Pray like Paul did that you may have wisdom, knowledge and understanding and
insight and love in your hearts that will help you discern what is best. So you can
be made pure and blameless on the day of judgement. This was a prayer he
prayed to Phillipianes. You see we need discernment with our love as well
because as humans we love so many things and it makes it harder to know
what’s best because of that. So we need to grow in our Love as well as our
wisdom, knowledge and understanding. Pray for wisdom and listen to God speak
to your heart. Listen for the voice of God to tell you what is write and what is
wrong. Wait on peace. 

God's work for your life is so important. You have to come to the realization your
work God has put you here on earth for is so much more important than you
realize. It’s up to you. You’re here for your family, your friends, the strangers you
meet. You have a specific job that no one else can do but you. Satan is after your
work, what you’re called for. He wants to destroy God's plans for you and those
around you. Don’t let him. For NO weapon formed against you shall prosper.
Stand on God's word. Don’t give into temptation. Don’t become entangled with
the things of this world. Keep your eyes on God, don’t be distracted and don’t
compromise. Be careful what you watch on tv, what you listen to, Because Satan
is attacking you 24/7 through every avenue that he can get a foot in. 

Satan slanders and gossips and he will use people to do it. Satan slandered God,
he slanders the church, He slandered Jesus, and he will Slander you. 

When Satan comes at you through slander and gossip, and he will because the
very name Satan means slanderer , and accuser,  get quiet with God seek Him
first. Then speak the truth, Confront the lies with Truth like Nehemiah did, but
Also Give it to God and let him Handle it. Because the Bible says revenge is
mine saith the Lord and I will repay. Romans 12:19, but that doesn’t mean you
can’t defend yourself with the Truth like Nehemiah did. Seek God first and ask
him what he would have you do. 

Slander is meant to discourage, depress, and distract, take the focus off of God,
and bring division.  

You confront slander by telling the truth, trusting God, , and making sure you live
a good clean life that no one can say anything against you, and it be believable. 

The enemy also attacks through false prophets, intimidation, and false teachings.
You really need to study the word of God. It can’t be stressed enough how
important this is. 

He intimidates people through false teachings. He will try to intimidate people
into sinning. Has anyone ever tried to intimidate you into doing something you
knew was wrong? Have you ever felt pressured into sin? I think we all have. 

The Bible says Judge ye by the fruits they bear. By their fruit ye shall know them.
We shouldn’t judge people because ever how we judge people we will be judged
even worse, BUT when it comes to false prophets and false teachers and that
kind of thing we’re supposed to look at their fruit. Do they bear good fruit? Does
what they’re saying line up with the word of God? Are they trying to get you to
sin? 

Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are
ferocious wolves. By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes,
or figs from thistles?

Matthew 7:15-16

For such men are false apostles, deceitful workmen, masquerading as apostles of Christ. And no
wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light. It is not surprising, then, if his
servants masquerade as servants of righteousness. Their end will be what their actions deserve.

2 Corinthians 11:13-15

The Spirit clearly says that in later times some will abandon the faith and follow deceiving spirits
and things taught by demons. Such teachings come through hypocritical liars, whose consciences
have been seared as with a hot iron.

1 Timothy 4:1-2

You have to know the word of God in order to test everything that people say no matter if it’s a
preacher or a teacher or who it is. 

We have to know who we are in Christ

Know your identity. Who does God say that you are? You’re an overcomer! You’re healed by the
Stripes of Jesus. You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. You are bold as a lion.
You are a child of the King. God did not give you a spirit of fear but of power, love and a sound mind!
We have no need to worry about what we eat, drink or wear because our Father takes care of us.
That is who we are! 

You can not find your identity in money, relationships or sin. You find your identity by knowing what
Christ says about you in His word! 

The enemy also uses psychological warfare to try and defeat us. By using what was talked about
earlier, Depression, Discouragement, intimidation, fear, threats of death even. The enemy is trying to
cause you to be fearful and filled with anxiety and worry so you won’t trust God's word. Satan tries to
use these things to prevent christians from stepping out and doing what God has called them To do.
Making them afraid of failure and getting them to doubt their abilities and gifts and talents. Fear
immobilizes keeping people from praying, evangelizing, singing or whatever God is wanting them to
do. He tried to do it with Moses. 

Worry will keep the word of God from taking root in you. See the parable of the sower. When we
worry go to God's word and find a scripture that fits your circumstances and stand on it and worship
God every time you feel anxious or worried. 

Fear will lead you to sin. Fear will cause you to lie. It will cause you to lose your faith in God and You
can not please God if you have no faith. Fear will cause you to do a number of things you normally
wouldn’t do. Fear will cause you to be discouraged which causes you to be depressed and ineffective
in doing anything for God.  So you have to stomp fear out with prayer, God's word and worship! Fear
is not of God. God didn’t give you a spirit of fear but of power, love and a sound mind! God has given
you the ability to do whatever He has called you to do. Otherwise He wouldn’t have told you to do it.
So When you feel afraid PRAY, STAND ON GOD'S WORD, AND WORSHIP! 

The enemy likes to attack immediately after a victory. 

We must always stay on guard especially after we’ve won a battle. The enemy will cause arguments
between people, and cause offences to occur. He will cause depression. The best time for satan to
attack is right after a victory because that’s when we have our guard down. 

Satan also likes to attack through compromise.

This can come through tv shows, music whatever you give into that you know you shouldn’t do to try
to appease someone. Don’t compromise on anything that goes against the word of God. Compromise
spreads fast and removes the blessings from God and hinders your close walk with God. Don’t do
anything that’s going to compromise your walk with God. 

2. Know your battleground.

This is crucial. What are your weaknesses? Lack of willpower, laziness, easily
discouraged and wants to give up. Loneliness. Anger, Anxiety, depression, People
pleasing, 

Where do you struggle most in your life? Write these battles down and then narrow
them down the biggest battle you’re facing right now. My health with my back. 
Low energy

Then ask yourself some key questions about the battle: how long have you been
battling this thing? Most of my life

Are you making progress or are your regressing? Are you really fighting this battle,
or have you been passive in this area? I am making progress

Then study it.

To successfully win a battle, you must know the layout of the battleground. Are
there hidden corners in which the enemy can hide and ambush you? I am sure
that there are. 

Are there potholes or hidden inclines? What is the terrain of this battlefield?

Again, the place to turn to is God’s Word: our ultimate guide for battle. Search out
scriptures that have to do with your battlefield and study them.

My family is a pothole because they don't have my faith and try to impose their
fears upon me. Friends are sometimes pot holes because they say things that
sometimes cause me to feel disheartened, even though God's word says different
then what they’re saying. My mind can be an issue because of my insecurities in
my gifts and things God’s given me. 

Jeremiah 29:11 New International Version (NIV)

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you
and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

2 Timothy 1:7 King James Version (KJV)

7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a
sound mind.

Mark 16:17-18 King James Version (KJV)

17 And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name shall they cast out
devils; they shall speak with new tongues; 18 They shall take up serpents; and if
they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on
the sick, and they shall recover.

Luke 18:27 King James Version (KJV)

27 And he said, The things which are impossible with men are possible with God.
Jeremiah 17:14 King James Version (KJV)

14 Heal me, O Lord, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved: for thou
art my praise.

"Worship the LORD your God, and his blessing will be on your food and water. I
will take away sickness from among you…" Exodus 23:25

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will
strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." ~
Isaiah 41:10

"Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering, yet we considered him
punished by God, stricken by him, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our
transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that
brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed." ~
Isaiah 53:4-5

Psalms 37: 4Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine
heart.

Psalms 10:17 LORD, thou hast heard the desire of the humble: thou wilt prepare their
heart, thou wilt cause thine ear to hear:

"But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds,’ declares the
LORD" ~ Jeremiah 30:17

"if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray
and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from
heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land. Now my eyes will
be open and my ears attentive to the prayers offered in this
place." ~ 2 Chronicles 7:14-15

3. Determine your opponent’s strategy against you.

A good place to start with this is to talk with a trusted friend. They can often see
behavioral patterns that you miss. 

My friend Paula said the things I watch on tv or online are not always good and
Holy, like movies and tv shows. 

If your struggle is with anxiety, ask them what they feel the enemy’s strategy is
against you to keep you in a cycle of worry and defeat. Someone will say
something discouraging and it could be a preacher, family member, a friend,
a christian song I am listening to or just a post on the internet then it sends me
into a panic and I get depressed

Write down what you feel his strategy is against you.

For example, “Every time I experience a spiritual victory, the next day I begin
second-guessing what God did for me. The more I second-guess it, the more the
enemy plays mind-games with me until he drags me down into defeat, worry,
anxiety, and depression.”

4. Get a plan of action.

This will happen in prayer. For every need a worry I have I also have a Bible
scripture to stand on. I pray and trust God and when I feel anxious I praise and
worship God.  

Ask your friend to pray with you that the Lord will give you a clear plan of action
for victory.

Perhaps it's learning to control your thoughts. Well, how will you do this? What
steps will you take to do this?

How will you know when the enemy is advancing toward you in battle so you can
grab your offensive and defensive weapons to defeat him? I have a Bible scripture
for everything. 

What verses will you use to defeat him with and how will you know to have them
ready at a moment’s notice (because he will attack when you least expect him)? I
already have them written down in a note book. 

5. Write out your strategy.

Gather all of the information you have collected in steps 1-4 and write out your
strategy of advancement and defeat of your enemy.

• List the characteristics you have learned about your enemy
• Clearly describe the layout of your battlefield and any hidden traps or stumbling blocks that exist
• Describe the strategy he has planned against you
• Detail your plan to victory, using both offensive and defensive tactics and describing possible attacks by the enemy and your plan to thwart his plan and win the battle.

6. Worship.

In the Old Testament, when the Israelites would go to battle, they’d send the
worshipers ahead of the army.

Worship is a powerful tool in defeating the enemy. In battle, it would sometimes
confuse the enemy so that the opposing army would turn on itself and defeat itself
without the Israelites having to lift a finger. (Judges 7)

Now you have your strategy, it is time to worship the Lord because your victory will
not be won by your own hand.

Only God can defeat the enemy. In and of ourselves we are powerless, but by the
power of the Holy Spirit we can do all things!

In writing out a prayer strategy, it is vital that we get to the sixth step. If you never
go beyond step five you will never walk in victory.

Why?

Because, like Peter, your eyes will be on your opponent, his strategy against you,
your battlefield, or your strategy against him.

Your eyes will not be on Christ, where they should be!

“I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. My help
cometh from the LORD, which made heaven and earth” Psalm 121:1-2

As you make Jesus Christ your focus, He will alert you to those times when you
need to be ready to engage in spiritual warfare and He will give you the power
by His Holy Spirit to walk in victory.