My child My child

Umbra swims in murky waters

old castles crumble

beneath the grime

Silent cries

fill the night

birds in motion 

that cannot fly

caged and in prisoned

with invisible bars collide

 Demons vocal tongues chide. 

ballads and ditties embrace

Vespers whisper

Creator Devine

Come save us

from this

storm of mine

By: Bernice Bowling 

I died today

 I died today

My heart began to bleed

something squeezed it

it began to crumble.

I wheezed cuddling my knees

I curled up and died

The sky was dark

a storm was brewing

I was unaware, unprepared

Lighting came thunder exploded

I died laying on the ground

Blood poured

strangers passed

no one seemed to notice

bruised, and torn

I lay there dying 

Screams emerged

anger roared

separations came 

I cried sleeping in the dirt

I died today 

my heart in my hand

 By: Bernice Bowling

A million tears.

 I cried a million tears and watched them fade away. never knowing from day to day what may come my way. I thought of suicide more times than I can count. With each year passing feeling like nothing would ever change. I cried a million tears and watched them fade away. 

One morning I was laughing as the teardrops cease to fall. I then realized things had gotten better but we're still not perfect at all. With the griping and the bickering, I packed my bags and left just for a little while to get myself some rest. I cried a million tears and left them on the ground. 

Things get better year by year but sorrow still remains. Cause nothing is ever perfect but at least it didn't remain the same. I cried a million tears and watched them fade away. Suicide still lives in my mind, just not every day. Things get better but sorrow still remains. I cried a million tears and watched them fade away

My mother is dead, my papaw and daddy too. I cried a million tears and watched them put in the ground. Years have passed my sorrow is better now, but new devils appear. I cry a million tears and I still watch them fade away, Roses still have thorns, and good times come with the bad. I still cry a million tears but God washes them, everyone, <3   By Bernice Bowling

Living in toxic

 Living in a toxic environment can be accidental. Meaning the people you live with may not know they're toxic. Any move you make can cause friction. There is no compromise or forgiveness in this kind of household. Bitterness and resentment abound and run plentiful. The pain that comes from such a place is sometimes overwhelming. It can produce substance abuse and even suicidal thoughts. It oftentimes causes you to become withdrawn in your quest to seek out a peaceful habitation. 

They're loving, wise, and gentle to the outside world, but a gaged animal to those close to you. What's it like living here? What goes on? It's constant bickering, I am not preaching at you I am just telling you a scenario that is never helpful or kind. There's no love in it, just the selfish, self-righteous martyr who thrives on playing the whoa as me card, and always getting angry when someone makes the slightest wrong move. It's constant put-downs, never giving an encouraging word or even a compliment. These are your family. You love them regardless but that does not mean you want to be around them.

There are ways that you can use to cope. One is learning to keep your distance and only going around them when you have to. Others are art. Art can be an escape for some putting your pain on canvas. Writing is another like I am doing now. Write a poem. Talk to someone you trust and retail therapy is a thing but I don't advise it because it can become habit-forming just like drugs or alcohol. Instead, go for a walk. Do something to get your mind off of what is going on around it. Lastly and most importantly go to God, and pray, talk to Him. Go to church. 

I hope this helps whoever may be reading it and that it lets you know you are not alone.

By: Bernice Bowling 

Dark Love

 Ebony shades of twilight dancing

Echoing secret romance

Death taking helm

Gala  twirling twirling 

Shadows look watching as we float

Heavy wet drops of rain

Hitting against facades

We kiss

Laughing exceptionally 

Death my only love 

Whoever knew

My somberness 

Illuminating hazy ways

Engulfing radiance

Starlight shimmers sway 

Musing songs play

Dreams drift away

Essence all abated 

 By: Bernice Bowling

Echoing despair

 

Cobwebs like sticky ooze

clinging. clinging

crushing backs

drowning despair

hope, hope spiraling

shadows and demons knock

opening old doors

screaming to be free

dying in sorrowful depth

only to walk no longer in the light.

By" Bernice Bowling

The Red Room

 In mommy's house, there's a backroom called The Red Room, This room got its name from when I was a child, and mommy and papa were re-carpeting the whole house and decided to let me pick out the color that I wanted for 1 of the rooms. I was 5 years old at the time, and of course, I picked out a blood-red carpet. It was my favorite color and still is today.

I remember the look of surprise on mommy's face at such an unexpected loud color. She then said, "well we said she could pick out one of the colors," they all then laughed, and shook their heads. Other than that, I don't remember them ever trying to change my mind on the subject. Instead, they just put it in one of the back rooms.

After the carpet was put down we then hung up big, heavy, beautiful, red and black paisley print colored curtains with the bedspread to match, and decorated it in a Raggedy Ann and Andy theme, and we all started referring to it as the red room. The furniture in it was all done in oak wood. It was a magical fairy tale room for me, even the doorknob was magical with its glass door handle, which I always referred to as a diamond. It was truly a beautiful room and still is today, and where the room hasn't been used much, the carpet is still good as new.

I never will forget that and I never will forget how excited I was about the new carpet and how big and important it made me feel to be included in the decision-making, even if for just a small part. That room, even though little used as it was, became and still is my favorite room in the house, and one of the fondest memories of my childhood.