Gods Cry (edited)

My sorrow beckons me to tears 

as I sit here wondering 

about the years I've wasted.

The rain has not forgotten me–

 she still pours,

 washing away my fears.

Pain exists in the form of shadows.

I dance away the times gone by,

 listening to echo’s song,

I twirl and leap to his voice,

 I want to rejoice–

 but alas, my sorrow won’t let me.

How do I say No when I see his face?

 My heart does crumble to the floor.

He doesn't care. 

He only ignores. 

I scratch his face from my mind,

 then slowly plummet into hate.

My heart hardens

as the pain escapes.

I watch the mailman run for pleasure

As I sic Esmerelda on him

I laugh as she bites him on the rear–

taking a little more than he asked for.

My cruelty won’t last.

with each step forward, I grasp,

trying to make the happiness last–

if only but for a moment.

I sigh with cosmic relief

when I see some release 

of what I've been holding inside.

Still, I've got to let it hide. 

no one will know the pain, 

The storm inside my mind.

I'm scary and unknown–

 Except to my friends. 

Some of them are now gone.

God keeps talking to me,

telling me to dry my tears,

and come home.

But home scares me. 

People are cruel and mean,

with their judgmental gleams.

I stay away–

 too scared to stay.

Oh, I wish I had a way, 

maybe then I wouldn't decay.

God’s calling out my name.

I hear His voice.

“I am here, Lord 

Please help me come home–

I am lost and alone.

BY: Bernice Bowling